There was one errand I needed to run before I left for Vegas, one I’ve been trying to take care of the last two days – visit the 24 Hour Church of Elvis. Unfortunately the name of the church is a bit misleading. I went by there four times before I actually found it open for business. Even then, I couldn’t find a parking spot, so I parked in a yellow zone, figuring that I’d only be in there five minutes, just long enough to pick up a few items from the gift shop.When I got to the top of the stairs and opened the door, I was shocked to find that the room was packed with people. I asked, “Did I interrupt a wedding?” because I know that weddings are among the services offered there. I was told no, that it was just a tour of the cramped quarters.
Then Stephanie, the Celebrity Spokesmodel/Minister, asked me why I was there. I muttered, “I’m just here to buy a T-Shirt.” She shouted, “Good answer!” then launched into some crazy rant and rave. I asked, “Can I get my T-shirt now?” which prompted her to explain that unlike Nordstrom and other contemporary storefronts, instant sales gratification was not available at the Church of Elvis. Then I got my hairstyle insulted.
This is definitely something you’ll have to experience for yourself, because most of what she said was whacked out enough that my brain refused to absorb it. Some of it sounded old-time preacher style, but most of was really incomprehendable. At the end of the spiel she passed around an offering box, and all of us threw a buck or two in. I finally had my opportunity to buy my T-shirt and the other surprise I’m bringing with me to Vegas. I did get some pictures of some of the crazy stuff hanging around the church, which Stephanie touts as “for profit.” Apparently she has been at it for 15 years. Rumor has it that she was a big dog in the stock market, burnt out, and moved west to start the Church of Elvis. Luckily when I headed out to my car there were no parking tickets waiting for me.